@MindBytes: If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong
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@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: So do you prefer cats or dogs? ME: *scanning the menu* I don't even see them on here. What page are you on?
@thatdutchperson: [finds sock with hole in it] *gets angry* [puts sock back in same drawer] *repeats forever*
@IRLPepperMD: [911 call] IM GETTING EATEN- *pause* Ok one sec. *holds phone away from mouth* Are you an alligator or a crocodile? *pause* Cool. ITS A CRO-
@TheToddWilliams: [blind date] HER: I love sports! ME: Uh…me too HER: Have you ever played tennis on grass ME: No, but I once went bowling on crystal meth