@DavidKinney: If I am ever killed by a koala bear, I hope whoever finds me just tells people I was killed by a bear
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@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm not sure, but if I died in your arms tonight, that makes you a suspect. At the very least.
@RyanAndrewMitch: Never go to a place that has burgers, sushi, chicken wings and donuts on one menu. Never.
@ThisLocalHater: [During sex] Me: I know you want me to be "naughty", but I can barely breathe in this Hamburglar costume.