@DavidKinney: If I am ever killed by a koala bear, I hope whoever finds me just tells people I was killed by a bear
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@AlexvanBeek: "No. No birthdays, Christmas or modern medicine.. But you sure do make great friends going door-to-door" *Door slams - Jehova's Witnesses
@WeissBrandon: Friend: If Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, Nickelback, and Creed all died in a plane crash who would you miss the most? Me.. F... M.. F.. Me: the pilot
@Brianhopecomedy: *2 year old runs by screaming* *72 ducks chasing her* "YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF THE BREAD."