@DavidKinney: If I am ever killed by a koala bear, I hope whoever finds me just tells people I was killed by a bear
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@chriscr10571: The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's been telling lies." I replied, "Well, tell him he's bloody good - I ain't got any kids!"
@ilovepie84: When I play rock paper scissors I always pick Rock because Dwayne Johnson shows up and punches my opponent.