@ieatanddrink: If I believed changing my profile picture could change the world I'd change it to a picture of vending machines that dispense tiger cubs
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@rockymomax: COP: drop the gun CRIMINAL: no COP: [flipping through police handbook, whispers to partner] it doesnt say what to do if he says no
@tastefactory: A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they'll do nicely"
@SuperRandomish: Drinking wheatgrass juice is a great way to know what being a lawnmower tastes like.
@MrSpoonicorn: *picks up the bagel again* sorry i gotta take this one *leaves office & talks on the bagel for 15 minutes solid*