@ieatanddrink: If I believed changing my profile picture could change the world I'd change it to a picture of vending machines that dispense tiger cubs
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@lecalabara: Hey, your parents conceived you the same year my parents conceived me, let us be friends! High school is stupid.
@rockymomax: Cop: You doin drugs? "No" Cop: Whatya smokin? "Pot" Cop: THATS DOING DRUGS "Ohh I thought you meant like [whispers] having sex with drugs"
@ClichedOut: [Sesame Street casting] Exec: ok, what kid role models do we have A grouch, cookie addict, and 2 jobless roommates Exec: Nice, let's roll