@TheWoodenslurpy: If I commit suicide, it’ll be for a shallow reason, like unrequited texts. But the note I leave will mention world hunger at least 11 times.
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@SEvans_author: When I die, I want to be buried with a few random animal bones so archeologists 1,000 yrs from now will wonder what the hell I was
@aveuaskew: Keep salespeople from pestering you by asking what type of saw can cut through bone and sinew the quickest.
@lacybronze1: I'm surprised more killers haven't lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial