@heidi420x: if i could choose one super power right now it would be the ability to delete my number from other people's phones.
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@MollySneed: [puts a tub of Blue Bell in the cart] Ma'am, did you hear there was a recall? That could be deadly. [slowly puts second tub in cart]
@bellicosejason: *Goes to Vegas casino *Steps out of limo Casino manager: Sir, are you a high roller? Me: I am, now point me to your finest claw machine.
@AntoKenya: A Couple of underscores is to a couple of underscores? Ok. RT @McDonalds: #ShamrockShake is to spring as _____ is to _______.