@heidi420x: if i could choose one super power right now it would be the ability to delete my number from other people's phones.
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@XLToast: No son, you can't go out with your friends. Tonight we're installing Windows Updates, as a family.
@girlontapas: I have to go stand in line at Gamestop now because I had a careless night of unprotected sex 13 years ago and Halo 5 is out today.
@usermcuserface: I don't think I'd be as calm as Billy Joel was in that song if an old man was sitting next to me making love to his tonic and gin.