@michaelianblack: If I could have dinner with anybody, living or dead, I'd have pizza.
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@RidiculousSheri: I get it, you have a philosophy degree, but I just want you to make my latte, not wax poetic about life, okay Baristotle? Extra foam please.
@AlexRogaski: Biologist screws up: Mutant killer virus Physicist screws up: Deadly black hole Geologist screws up: Rock on table is now rock on floor
@bessbell: Would u watch a movie about a teenage boy who screams "I wish I was dead," but God hears "Deb," so he turns into his 50-yr old neighbor Deb?
@hazelmotes1: "I missed you so much!" I shout as I run past my wife's open arms and jump into my bed.