@primawesome: If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would just have two dinners.
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@rorynotroy: You can just lean against anything, look down at your phone and toggle between your 1st and 2nd page of apps and you’ll look pretty popular.
@TheCiscoKidder: After I beat my dad in Go Fish, I like to shit in my underwear to celebrate. -My son, apparently
@Pauly_Miller: If you ever doubt the value of writers, just follow your favorite actor on Twitter.
@WalkingOutside: I let my baby girl know she can do anything. Except taking the bow out of her hair cuz IT'S REALLY CUTE AND SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE IT ALONE.