@arielleBigBlue: If I could, I would avoid every conversation by making that beeping truck sound while slowly backing away from people as they approach me.
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@UnFitz: [at the playground] “Welcome to Swingers Club. Sorry if you thought this was about spouse-swapping. Now who wants to give me a push?”
@iAmJuddy: Chef: What kind of bread would you like? We have wheat, rye, white... Me: Black bread. Chef: We don't have that. Me: Racist.