@VerbsRProudest: If I could time travel, I'd grab English major me in college & say, "Look, books will nourish your soul but take an appliance repair class."
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: No thanks, haunted houses. I can walk down the street at night being terrified some man is going to jump out at me for free.
@dragonsorbet: An 80's style montage of me and a dog learning to use chopsticks, and the dog progressing marginally faster