@YesThatAmy: If I did the math right, 8 of you are serial killers and 1,246 of you are eating Nutella.
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@Parkerlawyer: I don't remember 6th grade science being this hard. But then again, in 6th grade, I wasn't trying to do homework after 3 glasses of wine.
@mattgallo123: "Don't be shy!" -people who don't understand how genetically determined character traits work
@envydatropic: According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in 2016 was having a career in the 80's that brought you any level of fame
@mrtruthandsoul: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" "You thought I'd like your pretty lights?" "Recite the alphabet backwards" "I can't even do that sober"