@Sirrruh: If I didn't know any better....
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@nbadag: [sexting] HER: ok well i think we're done here lol ME: it's bc i used 'betwixt' isn't it? [typing ellipses for a solid minute] HER: yes
@Reverend_Scott: I just raced a Smart car. He barely beat me, but that's only cuz I stopped to tie my shoe.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: "I injured myself at the gym" Buddy: "Too much weight?" Me: "I guess. I was just trying to lift my Segway onto the treadmill"
@Marcmywords2: Ok guys, if anyone asks about what happened to this gallon of ice cream, I was mugged by a family of 8.