@JasonLastname: If I die before I wake, I pray the lord has ice cream cake.
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@Los01001111: *goes to Australia *sees hot girl *asks if she wants to be my first mate *winks forever *gets punched down under
@li4mst3w4rt: alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is, "why were you barely conscious on the kitchen floor eating dog food?"
@baycontaco: Smartphones don't prevent people from feeling alive and getting in touch with nature. I just walked into a tree.