@_BryanZ_: If I die before I wake, please convince mom this twitter account is fake. Amen.
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@primawesome: My neighbor told me she doesn't care what people think about her. So I told her I think about her naked. Turns out she's a hypocrite.
@ghostkrogh: fred flinstone (my landlord): the rent is due me: say it fred: pls no me: i'm not paying fred: *sighs* the rent is yabba dabba due me: haha