@bridger_w: If I die in my sleep, my only request is that you fold me up in my futon and sell it on Craigslist
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@juliussharpe: How about instead of shaking hands we nod at each other and that way we both won't have to wash our hands?
@EmilyZDavis: I can't believe this dog and a whole family just died because of a forgotten comma
@GrillinChillin9: Want to feel old? Have a kid ask you why it's called "rolling down the car window" when all you do is press a button.
@Storminika: I can't sleep; so I went out & got 2 donuts, glued them to my eyes, climbed up a tree & pretended I'm an owl.