@bridger_w: If I die in my sleep, my only request is that you fold me up in my futon and sell it on Craigslist
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@DaddyJew: Me: in a parallel world I am a huge success Medic: please stop moving your arm so we can get it out of the vending machine
@bobbiejo448: Dora could get to her destination in half the time if Swiper were in prison where he belongs.
@slimmy_shady: 911: whats your emergency Me: Come quick, my son has swallowed a condom*Click 911: whats your emergency Me: It's ok, found another one.
@ninjadinosaur1: have a nail gun and some boards laying around? show him you love him by adding some attractive wood paneling to his car