@TheOneTrueDisco: If I died and went directly to hell it would take me a month to realize I wasn't at work.
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@murrman5: [determined not to have any awkward silence during date] "so, what's your favorite part of a banana?"
@EFFLORESCENE: me at 15: i can’t wait to go to college and experience parties and everything!! me at 20: ok so listen. there’s a new grocery store. i got a mango for 39¢
@FatherWithTwins: 4yo: What do you love most in the world? Me: You & your brother 4yo: Oh Me: What about you? 4yo: The fire tree in Plants vs. Zombies Me: Oh
@Book_Krazy: Me: Well hello again. I knew you'd be back. I seem to have that effect on people Fed Ex: Just sign here so I can leave