@TheOneTrueDisco: If I died and went directly to hell it would take me a month to realize I wasn't at work.
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@HeyJennyConway: My thoughts are as pure as snow... after the trucks have driven hard and plowed through it.
@psybermonkey: Son: Daddy are we poor? Me: *scraping his macaroni art into stove pan* Did your mother tell you that?
@sidleykate: People say you have to study Shakespeare in school, but Shakespeare never studied Shakespeare and look at him. He became Shakespeare.