@gwatts77: If I donate blood and you're in an unfortunate circumstance of needing it don't blame me for never being able to pass a drug test again.
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@awordforaword: "Are you listening to understand or to be right?" ~ sometimes pretending to listen results in unexpected mutiple choice questions
@DanKCharnley: Sensible dad: I'd like to buy 3 'fleeks' & 7 'swags' for my son. "Sir this is Urban Outfitters" Do you have any 'baes'? "Please leave"
@thepoetknight: *pays $20 for deluxe car wash* *hits roughly 3,287,998 bugs during 2 mile drive home*
@hazelmotes1: When I die I want my remains poured out of an airplane over the Grand Canyon. But don't cremate me. Just dump my body on some tourists.