@NYC_Blonde: If I don't wake up with Britney Spears' body circa "I'm a Slave 4 U" and a rich handsome boyfriend then I KNOW Santa's not real.
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@CharismaFueled: Apparently, changing your profile to "Flirty, dirty and a little squirty" gets you kicked out of Christian Mingle.
@TheHyyyype: HILLARY: i'm sick and tired of these baseless accusations THE MEDIA: aha! you see?! she admits it! not only is she sick, she's also tired!
@Kyle_Lippert: EMOTICON GUIDE :) I'm happy ;) Having a seizure. Still happy :/ Having a stroke. Not happy :( I'm a grouper .) Lost an eye. Still happy
@InternetHippo: ME (tousling his hair): You got a girlfriend? 8 YEAR-OLD: Yeah ME (grabbing him by the collar): How. How did you do it