@AmberTozer: If I ever find a dead body while I'm hiking I'm gonna be like finally
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@ComedicBust: [Blind Date] Octopus: [confused] Your profile said you were 40 ounces.. Catfish: C'mon baby, we're already here, let's just have a drink..
@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 2001. Holland legalized assisted suicide for those with terminal illnesses or "It's a Small World" stuck in their head.
@heidi420x: You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
@simoncholland: My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it's my fault.