@AmberTozer: If I ever find a dead body while I'm hiking I'm gonna be like finally
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@SwartyComedy: They'll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that's been open for more than 2 years.
@ChaseMit: Just saw a guy riding a skateboard, holding a surfboard. Dunno where he's going but I assume there's Mountain Dew there.
@GinAndJif: If you encounter someone who is massively overreacting to something, calm them down by laughing at them.