@NYC_Blonde: If I ever get a dog I'm going to teach him how to fetch useful things like tv remotes, iPhones and men who like red wine.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Iwriteforcats: Her: Wanna "lex" tonight? Him: What's that? Her: Lazy sex. Him: What do we do? Her: Lay in bed and send each other Huffington Post articles.
@joeldanger: I enjoy visiting countries where I don't speak the language because it requires zero effort to tune out everyone around me.
@duplicitron: The best part of having a banana instead of a cell phone is no one on this plane can actually make me turn it off or stop talking into it.