@beccafacexo: If I ever get kidnapped, my plan is to just talk non-stop about Lost until they see that I'm very annoying, and they return me to safety.
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@IntrepidDeviant: So she was like, "Put on some protection". I then pulled out & wore a yellow construction hat. We laughed & laughed & now I have herpes.
@headway10: Overheard in a restaurant. Grandma: "Oh, I could really go for a Quickie right about now!" Grandpa: "It's pronounced a Quiche, dear!"