@sucittaM: If I ever go missing I want my picture on a 40 oz beer rather than a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me.
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@hyperblastchic: Me singing: Then I saw her face!! Now I'm a Beliber! Not a trace of doubt in my mind! Roommate: You DO know that's a guy...right?
@duplicitron: Hey lady I have bad news for you someone thought your hair was noodles and left their chopsticks in it.
@GeorgiaSweet20: Me:*on phone* OMG thats hilarious! OK I gotta go, everyones staring. K bye. *hangs up* Im ready. Priest: And do you take this man, in holy
@LordofScribble: As founder and CEO of YOLO Guaranteed, my first product launch will be fishnet parachutes.