@RealDMK: If I ever go missing, just follow my kids. They can find me no matter where I try to hide!
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@AmishPornStar1: Don't you wish it was as easy to adjust the brightness level on people as it is on your phone?
@BatBatshitcrazy: My Rice Krispies were speaking in tongues this morning, so I'm pretty sure the end days are near.
@TheTweetOfGod: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." - A man who owned other men.