@OnceUponALiz: If I ever go missing, my dumbass family will pick a photo where I look happy and my hair looks good, and I'll never been seen alive again.
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@neerjagurnani: Dear autocorrect, at no point in time have I meant to say "I'm affordable" instead of "I'm adorable". Stop embarrassing me.
@girl_a_whirl: Mr & Mrs Smith is my favorite movie about how trying to kill your spouse & demolishing your house can bring the magic back to your marriage
@notorious_stars: When a celebrity dies, who's the helpful psychopath that immediately changes all the "is"s to "was"s on their Wikipedia page?