@jackiembouvier: If I ever go missing, put up fliers saying I left a dog in a hot car so people will actually look for me.
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@neiltyson: Dracula & other undead people who sleep in coffins must have good abs. They always rise up flat-backed when the casket opens.
@Gre_Gone: Praying Mantis: *attends church, devours husband* Agnostic Mantis: *stares suspiciously up at the sky, devours husband*