@jackiembouvier: If I ever go missing, put up fliers saying I left a dog in a hot car so people will actually look for me.
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@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm going to throw an awesome surprise party for my daughter when she gets home and realizes I know that she snuck out! SURPRISE!
@AlisonLeiby: I'm calling Facebook "Mom" now because all it does is tell me who from my high school is engaged and remind me about my cousins' birthdays.
@mdob11: Me: WHY DID YOU EVEN COME HERE IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE WITH ME!! Him: Ma'am please just take your pizza.
@NewDadNotes: Dog 911: hello Dog: I accidentally ate the trash Dog 911: crouch low to pretend you are sorry Dog: but I'm not sorry Dog 911: I said pretend