@LindseyEllison2: If I ever go to prison I will immediately go up to the biggest person and tickle them.
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@mikeysny: When I learned what calculators did, I immediately cleared the "math" part of my brain to make room for more movie quotes.
@WigCannon: how to hot dogs: 1) "read" hot dogs instructions 2) place 5 to 60 hot dogs in warm microwave or sink 3) add 1 piece of ketchup 4( drink
@samuelhlowe: When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.
@DaddyJew: My first day as a cat burglar, Victim: you know you don't actually have to dress up like a cat when you do this Me: *hisses