@LindseyEllison2: If I ever go to prison I will immediately go up to the biggest person and tickle them.
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@Meet_Joe_Cool: Potty training my twins is like the Titanic's maiden voyage... In the beginning we are excited, in the end everyone is crying and all wet.
@respected_loner: whats that detective, the serial killer is in the mall? i'll hack into their security cameras real fast [types "job openings" into google]
@DillDoes: You can't spell "secret government conspiracies" without that 27th letter of the alphabet that they're hiding from us
@JazzJazzybc: Lord, give me patience because if you give me strength then I'm gonna need some bail money on the side.