@LindseyEllison2: If I ever go to prison I will immediately go up to the biggest person and tickle them.
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@david8hughes: If I'm found dead in the bathtub clutching a toaster, check for Pop-Tarts before jumping to conclusions.
@garbagecoven: *voluntarily spends hours on the internet daily* neato *friend sends 5-min video to watch* do i look like im made of free time or something
@TheAlexP: Don't you hate when you do something out of the kindness of your heart & someone gets upset because you shoved a pack of gum in their mouth?
@OurMarketingGuy: Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?