@3sunzzz: If I ever got a horse I would name her Grace, just in case I ever fell from her.
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@VanVeenB: Tried pushing her against the wall to kiss her like all you guys suggested. Put her head right through the drywall. Goddam cheap motels.
@pstamato: Asked exterminator if he chose the bug life or the bug life chose him. In the ensuing silence I assume he imagined me dying by fumigation.
@thestlouisan: [Delivery room] Her: I was thinking we could call him Rob Me: If we're naming him after felonies, why not just call him Arson, Linda?!