@turtledumplin: If I ever got stranded on an island, I could totally use the glare that bounces off the whiteness of my legs to signal for help.
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@michael_hendrix: Pokemon Go is already more popular than Tinder, another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area.
@primawesome: I pet my dog and he didn't wag his tail. Is he seeing someone else? Is the magic gone? Do we need to spice things up? I'll dress like a cat.
@spicy_peen: How do people in the movies dig 6-foot deep graves with a shovel? I got tired digging a hole to plant a bush
@redpawn3: One of My Ex's was absolutely beautiful. But, it didn't workout because all she wanted to do was SWING. I miss third grade.