@thatUPSdude: If I ever lose my phone I want Liam Neeson looking for it
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@jazmasta: [running from a knife wielding murderer] oh hell yeah, my Fitbit steps are gonna be OFF THE SCALE today
@PunkHistory: "You gotta keep 'em separated!" -the dude from the Offspring whenever he's doing laundry.
@celestinelea90: Was in the hot tub a full 3 minutes before I noticed the floating chipmunk so probably don't ask me questions about a crime scene