@neiltyson: If I ever met a Space Alien, I’d resist shaking its extended appendage, not knowing for sure the details of alien anatomy.
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@rmfnord: Bad enough that literally no one showed up for my Super Bowl party today, but now I can't even find the game on tv to watch.
@illuminatedwndr: I think global warming is real because you hardly see The Penguin on episodes of Batman anymore
@Lexi__Alexandra: I read in the 1930's teething babies were given cocaine. Ridiculous! If they had tooth ache they probably didn't even want to party.
@AndyAsAdjective: WIFE: omg Will Smith's son, Jaden, is dead ME: where'd you see that? W: Facebook M: I'm pretty sure that's a hoax W: no Facebook is real