@neiltyson: If I ever met a Space Alien, I’d resist shaking its extended appendage, not knowing for sure the details of alien anatomy.
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@PlagueLovers: My password is "weak?" Well your password recovery security question is soft as shit. The city I was born in? Ask me why my mom left my dad.
@david8hughes: [sees ghost in my room] Ghost: don't be scared Me: I'm not Ghost [points to wet patch]: you're a little scared Me [nervously]: oh no a ghost
@YeahDrewisOn: I've learned there are two types of people in this world: People I trust to help me bury bodies... ...and bodies