@rzarosco: If I ever murder anyone I'm going to hide the body on my second or third page of favstar where no one will ever find it
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@robyn_vo: People who say their migraine is going to be the death of them are totally right because I just killed a lady right after she said that.
@drhappyknuckles: I'm writing a screenplay where a shark attacks people at the beach but, like, emotionally.
@dulcetry: One time I got so nervous when a guy took off his pants in front of me I said "friggity diggity" please do not rt