@JRevard: If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex to move back in. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
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@Jamie1947: *talking into the phone, loudly enough that I know those ladies can hear me* WHATS THAT? MY SPACESHIP IS READY? GREAT, THANKS BARACK. OBAMA.
@gurl_sour: Forever Alone Barbie: Comes with 20 cats, and a Twitter account. Alcoholism and debilitating depression not included.
@TheBoydP: Top Six Uses Of Strategic Planning: 6. Politics 5. Sports 4. Investing 3. Business 2. Military 1. Returning home from guys/girls night out