@Carbosly: If I ever visit Japan, the first thing I'll do is run through those paper walls pretending I'm the Kool-Aid man.
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@heatherlou_: A "good parenting" blog followed me. Should I let them know how long ago that ship sailed?
@VodkaThursday: Just sang & made up multiple lyrics w/ actions to "If you're happy & u know it" for thirty minutes... In case u need help writing that novel
@bourgeoisalien: [robber breaks into my house] i always knew you'd come for me, my darling. where are you going
@Chumpstring: [The Price is Right Wheel-O-Fate stops on the 🕳 symbol] DREW: ooh that's 8 days in the hole CONTESTANT: what? [hole opens in the ground]