@RonAnthonyQuinn: If I ever win the lottery & someone asks me for money I'm going to give them a dollar & say "Here. Go play the Lottery. That's what I did."
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@desiswaaag: HOW I DRESS FOR UNIVERSITY First day of the week: brad pitt Last day of the week: homeless druggie
@Amazon_Blonde: 911 what is your emergency? Me: "My 6 year old hasn't stopped talking since he got home" 911: "stay calm ma.. Me: MY EARS ARE BLEEDING
@AmberTozer: If a shark is ever attacking me I'm gonna be like where are your parents do they know you act like this
@AristotlesNZ: Cop: You know your license's expired? Me: Didnt even know it was sick. Cop: Haha! Me: HAHA! Cop: Hehe.. Me: Eheh.. Cop: Step out of the car.