@randomover2: If I get bit by a vampire at this age, I'm going to be furious.
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@BenjyHimmel: *wearing an apron and oven mitts* This is an old family recipe *I take a bag of M&Ms out of the freezer*
@JustDontBugMe: When I found out that my neighbour is allergic to cats I bought one And I have never seen him since.
@PaperWash: Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy Judge: what's upsexy? [lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance
@Vodkantots: My psychologist and psychiatrist don't agree on my diagnosis so yes, I get what it's like to have people fighting over me.