@pineappleiheart: If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that's still a sports injury, right?
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@Just__J0: [Text] 18: This Hotel wants me to pay for Wi-Fi?! Me: You do know someone pays for Wi-Fi at home too, right?
@notshivi: Everyone prepare yourself for National "How is it May already?" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.
@ThisAlexStein: In order to save money I installed a sound chip into my wallet. Now when it opens it plays a song by Creed so I quickly have to close it.
@Matt_the_1st: If Seal was my friend, I would never miss an opportunity to ask him, "Wanna go clubbing?"