@liv_thatsme: If I get nervous for a date, I just imagine the guy in his underpants, sitting on my couch for the next 40 years, & suddenly I'm annoyed
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@CompChristopher: If there is a zombie apocalypse I hope that they are thriller zombies because they're fabulous dancers
@Sean_Burgundy_: Prank caller: Is your refrigerator running? Me: Of course. Can't have these bodies at room temperature
@Twitmytweeties: "Snitches get stitches" Cute little rhyme.. However I believe, "Snitches never wake up again" is more likely to deter snitching...
@FlyoverJoel: The woman selling sea shells by the sea shore must have had a strong personal brand to overcome such a poor business model.