@liv_thatsme: If I get nervous for a date, I just imagine the guy in his underpants, sitting on my couch for the next 40 years, & suddenly I'm annoyed
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@iwearpajamas: My girlfriend talks to her dog like it's going to talk back. Kind of like when Christians talk to God.
@ElleOhHell: A great way to make people nervous is to tell them where the bathroom is without their asking.
@KrazykurtKurt: When I practice my saxophone I have to put the cat in the window, so my neighbours know I'm not kicking it around the living room.