@Gotham3: If I got a dollar every time a girl said I wasn't her type, I'd be her type.
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@kyle_thatisall: Good night cop: Want the light on or off? Sweet dreams kiddo. Bad night cop: You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep.
@sarcasticmommy4: 13: Mom, you look younger every day. M: What do you want? 13: A new skateboard. M: How young? 13: 29 M: Done.
@lizetagge: The closest I've been to murder is holding my choco-chip cookie under the milk until the bubbles stop...
@causticbob: I saw a sign that said "Watch for children" I thought to myself "That sounds like a fair trade"