@Gotham3: If I got a dollar every time a girl said I wasn't her type, I'd be her type.
@sf14: Make sure you don't forget the 'R' when you're Googling, "movies of Gary Oldman."
@thejessbess: Date: So, what are you passionate about?
Me: Haha, have you heard of gravy?
@iamrandomape: [job interview]
BOSS: biggest weakness?
ME: I never know when to quit
BOSS: that's ok, ur hired
ME: I quit
@ArrowsOfTheSun: Push-up men's underwear.
Taking complexes to a whole new level.
@Pirate_nurse: Well, Norah on FB has decided to continue her thankfulness through December and I have decided to key her car after dinner