@brandonIee: If I got a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you
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@LurkAtHomeMom: Marriage Tip: If your husband is watching golf, show him you're interested by repeatedly asking "why doesn't our lawn ever look that nice?"
@novicefather: Picked up our Christmas tree from the lot today AND my wife hasn't shaved in 3 weeks. Noble fir in the streets. Noble fur in the sheets.
@AdinaSunny: Mother Earth: I'm not a regular mom. I'm a Cool Mom. [humans pollute the atmosphere and destroy nature] Earth: This is fine. I'm a Cool Mom