@krautsauce: "If I had a bookstore I'd make the mystery section really hard to find."
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@FrogAvalanche: *National Spelling Bee Final - Spell cyclops. - Use in a sentence. - Cyclops have one eye. *winks at audience - C-E-Y-E-C-L-O-P-S.
@JosesLovesYou: So Nicolas Cage and John Travolta walk into a bar and the bartender says "hey, why the wrong face?"
@JohnLyonTweets: A friend is in jail and I can't help feeling partially responsible because I framed him for murder.