@nonsensetwit: If I had a daycare, I think it would be awesome to get each kid to wear one of those backpack-leash things and make them pull me on a sled.
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@DeanB15: I got drunk with my dad once and I asked him if his boner curved to the left too, he replied "No, you got that from your mother". :(
@goldengateblond: LIFE HACK: Make your waist feel dramatically smaller by accidentally trying on maternity pants.
@RadioShorty: So let me get this right. The guys on big bang theory are super smart scientific nerds, yet their elevator is broken?!