@RamblingMachine: If I had a dollar for every time I fell for a tweeter instead of a real person, I could pay for the psychiatric help I obviously need.
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@TheBoydP: Brain cancer from cell phones is no longer considered a risk because who holds their phone up to their head anymore?
@Dishy2101: Just stepped on the scale. Now I have to replace a broken window and add $467 to the curse word jar.
@CroweJam: The Humane Society will give Donald Trump $5 if he releases that thing on his head back into the woods.
@uncle_fescue: Seriously how much of Krypton fell to earth and how do bad guys keep finding it? You're Superman, handle your shit. This ain't a game, dawg.