@lilgapeach30: If I had a dollar for every time I heard "grow up!" I could buy a seriously awesome security system to keep doody heads out of my fort.
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@MooseAllain: In a hotel room. The dog's growling and whimpering. My wife's worried the neighbours will think we're having sex.
@BreyonMorris: Him: Baby imma call you back, im in the middle of a shootout. Her: Yea w.e, tell that bitch I said she can have you.