@KirillWasHere: If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
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@jwoodham: Reports are indicating that Ivanka Trump may take on some roles of the First Lady. Still no word on who will handle the duties of President.
@Thedudish: I don't know which is stranger: That the cat buried a mouse's body in the yard, or that the service was attended by dozens of mice in suits.
@_ElvishPresley_: [face down in a bowl of hot soup] WAITER: is everything ok? ME: could I get a spoon or something