@lalastrailer: If I had a dollar for everyone I work with who's dumber than me, I'd have $11 cause I work for a small company.
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@ElliotHetherton: Doctor: Any food allergies? Patient: Sometimes dairy products disagree with me Carton of milk: That's not true
@Parkerlawyer: Client, "I should have known this marriage was going to fail when he hid my engagement ring in a gas station taquito."
@doktorj: Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage.