@jsaffle1: Funny how old trash yards always have so much razor wire on the fence If I want that trash bad enough no amount of razors will stop me

@leechee420: Stop making mini snacks, people. Never have I been like, "wow this is a delicious cupcake. If only it were 1/4 of the size."

@TheWeirdWorld: Someday future archaeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think it was some bizarre mouse-worshiping kingdom.

@JediGigi: He said I won his heart and I was all "Ugh can I just win like $20? How about a sweater from Sears? A pencil? I could really use a pencil."

@MandiAtRandom: If he calls you clingy, move in immediately without warning and decorate his bed with 57 throw pillows