@Token_Geezer: If I had a parrot I'd teach it to say "I know where they buried the bodies"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jwoodham: Officer, I know I was speeding, but you have to let me go. I'm running late to a concert and I'm the guy who brings the giant beach ball.
@MomofTeen: If having a social media account makes you a journalist, changing a lightbulb makes me an electrician.
@milehighocd: Me: You ask so many questions that I want to stab a fork in my eye. Her: Why? Me: *stabs fork into eye*
@jimmytorosian: An excerpt from my self help book, "How to Get Rich Quick" Chapter 1: Write a self help book about how to get rich quick The End