@kumailn: If I had a time machine I'd go back 10 years and tell myself "Write down the names of all the people you loan stuff to."
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@zachreinert03: Fear is not the same is respect. For instance I fear bears but integrity wise they are huge pieces of shit
@dubstep4dads: i bet the first guy to say "smooth as a babies bottom" wasnt the most respected man in the community
@abhorrent_wife: Thanks to Target's full length 3 way mirrors, I'm now painfully aware I look like a melting candle from the back.
@EricMarten: It must have been really strange for Jesus to be the only white guy in the entire Middle East.