@kumailn: If I had a time machine I'd go back 10 years and tell myself "Write down the names of all the people you loan stuff to."
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@kentgrossarth: Why the plus or minus on the pregnancy test, ept? How about a simple yes or no and we'll decide if that's positive or negative.
@_ElvishPresley_: *birds dress Cinderella for school* *gets to school, goes into bathroom* *buncha rabid squirrels gather and re-dress her in goth shit*
@McGrumpenstein: *Ancient Egypt* Me: My abacus won’t work IT: Hit giant eye + guy holding snakes + big ass bird Me: Nothing IT: Okay, reset *shuffles abacus*