@sween: If I had a time machine, I'd go back in time to just before a famous person was supposed to be assassinated and borrow money from them.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Waking up in 2016: [immediately makes coffee] Waking up in 2017: [immediately checks to see if WW3 has started]
@: If you're arguing loudly on your phone in public, please put it on speaker. I need to hear both sides of the story to know who's side I am on.
@IvoryGazelle: Well, actually, FBI is not an acronym; it's an initialism, because you can't pronounce it as a word. Mom: This is why you have no friends.