@sween: If I had a time machine, I'd go back in time to just before a famous person was supposed to be assassinated and borrow money from them.
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@WritePlay: this one has claws This one swims but can't fly This one is huge & runs funny This one bangs his head against trees - god making birds
@Ideal_Victoria: If anyone is living vicariously through me, you just bought yourself Flintstones chewable vitamins.
@dulcetry: [Spider sits at computer and Googles probability of being eaten by human in his lifetime] Holy shit Sharon, COME SEE THIS
@KalvinMacleod: Baby elephants migrate hundreds of miles to find water. My 6 year old is lying on the floor of the mall because I made him walk from the car