@sween: If I had a time machine, I'd go back in time to just before a famous person was supposed to be assassinated and borrow money from them.
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@just1fool: I just watched one bird chase another bird from tree to tree for five minutes. It was probably over a stolen tweet.
@TheMichaelRock: If Daryl doesn't get laid this season, I'm gonna have to say that this documentary is fake. #TheWalkingDead
@kumailn: Why didn't we learn about essential oils in school? I mean, that shit is ESSENTIAL. Should've been the first lesson!