@Ristolable: If I had a time machine I'd take 17 dollars to 1901 and buy several luxurious homes. Related: does anyone have a time machine and 17 dollars
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sixfootcandy: My neighborhood is having a meeting tonight about the crazy naked lady and I'm the only one not invited. Weird.
@3sunzzz: When you ask your waiter for an extra pickle, don't wink. It can easily be misinterpreted.