@Ristolable: If I had a time machine I'd take 17 dollars to 1901 and buy several luxurious homes. Related: does anyone have a time machine and 17 dollars
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@iamburtjarvis: what do you get when you cross an octopus with a human? thrown in jail for public indecency and banned from the aquarium for life.
@DurtMcHurtt: All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don't even remember what he did anymore.
@Pro_Jones_: (NASA) HQ: Good launch everyone. Astronaut: Uhh what's that buzzing noise? NASA Prankster: Definitely rocket noise and not bees.
@PatsHoppedUp: Doc: Maam, due to the accident your daughter cant... Mom: Cant what?! D: She cant even. She literally cannot even. M: *single tear falls*