@WittySassBasket: If I had all the money, I would pay people to sneak up behind you and blast a bullhorn right before you hit send on a political tweet.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MrsTomServo: Monopoly banker (inspecting check): Um, I'm gonna have to call the manager. Giant metal shoe: I've been doing business here FOR 20 YEARS.
@amydillon: I hope my teeth enjoy these 3 minutes of minty freshness before their 8-hour coffee bath.
@Marlebean: NO, I will not come get candy from your van, Im not craz.. Oh cookies? Hmm. Double stuff?! You don't say! The white one w/ no windows? Sure!